Where The Wild Things Are
by ShadoeKylie
Summary: Twitchell sends Burt and Tyler on a dangerous mission that doesn't turn out the way they expect.
1. Default Chapter

**Where The Wild Things Are**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

This is Story 7 of "The Great Burt Baiting Saga." These stories center on the characters from Tremors: The Series, and feature Burt, Tyler, and all the gang from Perfection Valley. There are also original characters of my own creation - just so you're warned ahead of time. But please don't let that scare you off. I hope you enjoy them. 

While this story is a romance, the people involved are not the most cooperative people in the coupling department. The romantic elements take time to unfold. 

Feedback: Please let me know what you think of each story. I love feedback, both good and bad, and the more detailed the better. 

Disclaimer: "Tremors" is not owned by me or my affiliates, but by Stampede Entertainment, Universal Studios, and their affiliates. No copyright infringement is intended - just some good, clean (well, mostly) fun! 

E-mail: 

Thanks to my beta readers: LadyNRA & the gang at work

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**Where The Wild Things Are**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

Perfection, Nevada, 8/1/2003 

The late afternoon desert sun beat down on the little town of Perfection as Burt's truck pulled up in front of Chang's Market. Burt's puzzled eyes trained on the activity under the water tower. He threw his passenger, Tyler, an inquiring glance. The younger man shrugged. Curious, the two got out of the truck and ambled over to where Nancy and Kylie had dragged a bench under the water tower. 

Both women were drinking iced tea and had their legs folded up on the bench. Kylie's high-heeled sandals were kicked under the bench and he could see her toes peeking out from under her legs. The nails were painted green. Nancy wore one of her usual hippie tie-dyed shirt and jeans, while Kylie wore a t-shirt and shorts combo which, in Burt's opinion, had obviously been made for someone a good bit smaller than she was. Burt wanted to send her home to change. He had the hardest time looking her in the eye when she dressed like that. 

As the men approached they heard snippets of talk and giggles from the pair while their eyes were trained on something on top of Chang's. 

Burt turned to look. There was a man up there, probably belonging to the Peck's Construction truck Burt had seen parked beside the store. 

The women giggled again, drawing his attention away from the roof, and Kylie said, "Look, he's going to take off his shirt." 

Burt and Tyler's attention followed theirs to the roof, and, sure enough, the man paused in the desert heat to pull off the soaked t-shirt he wore. The women giggled again and Burt trained a stern look on them. They straightened up. Marginally. Their eyes still closely followed the man on the roof. 

Burt halted in front of them and shook his head. "Isn't there something _productive_ you could be doing?" 

Kylie tore her eyes away from the roof to smile up at him and said, "We're on a break." Then her eyes flicked back to the man on the roof and widened. She elbowed Nancy, and the older woman followed her gaze. 

Burt and Tyler's eyes followed suit. The man had picked up a stack of boards and carried it over his head, the muscles of his arms and back bulging. 

Tyler laughed. "I cannot _believe_ you are exploiting that man like this. The poor guy is just trying to put in a hard day's work and you two are treating him like a sex object." He turned to Burt, full of feigned moral outrage. "Women!" 

"Oh please," Kylie scoffed. "You can't tell me you guys wouldn't be right here, exploiting away, if that was a woman up there." 

Burt and Tyler looked at each other. "Absolutely not," Burt said. 

Kylie and Nancy sputtered with laughter. 

"Well... if she took her shirt off..." Tyler admitted. 

"Told ya!" Kylie crowed. 

Burt shook his head in disgust. 

Another vehicle pulled up, attracting the attention of all four. It was a dark blue government sedan with a DOI shield emblazoned on the door. Twitchell. 

"This won't be good," Burt grumbled, already crossing his arms stubbornly. 

Twitchell got out of the car and started into the store, but changed his course when he saw them gathered under the water tower. He stopped when he neared the bench and looked around. "What the hell are you all doing here?" he demanded. "Don't tell me something else has showed up." Then he noticed where their attention was focused and turned. "Who's that?" 

"He's fixing the roof," Nancy replied. 

"So?" Twitchell said. 

"The girls are exploiting," Tyler explained. 

Twitchell shook his head, then paused to take his handkerchief out of his pocket and mop his brow. He shot first Kylie then Nancy a look, then settled back on Kylie. "You are corrupting this woman," he told her. 

Kylie straightened, affronted. "What makes you think this was _my_ idea?" 

"We've met," he said shortly. He opened the folder he carried and gave it a cursory glance. Twitchell's way of changing the subject. He looked up at Burt. "Got another assignment for you two," he said, including Tyler with a quick glance. 

"Graboids?" Burt asked. 

Twitchell looked back in the folder, stalling for time. "Well, no, not really." 

"Then I'm not interested," Burt replied, chin going up. 

"Thing is, the job needs your... expertise." 

Burt just shook his head. 

Twitchell heaved a sigh, then looked around, unnecessarily, to check for eavesdroppers. "There's a lab on Lake Mead, out by Overton. They had something escape, and they need you two to track it down." 

"Couple hours from here," Burt acknowledged, but shook his head. "There are plenty of trackers in the area, perfectly capable. Hire one of those." 

"But they don't already know about Mixmaster," Twitchell told him. 

Burt's glance sharpened. "Mixmaster?" 

Twitchell nodded. He looked in the folder before him again, more to stall than because he needed information. "The things are somewhere near the lake, they think, but--" 

Burt shook his head and opened his mouth again, but Tyler beat him to it. "Lake Mead, you say?" He grinned at Burt. "I think we should go. I could use the extra cash." Burt only raised an eyebrow at him. "Besides, I think it's time we did a little exploiting of our own." 

"All I'm saying is, let them clean up their own mess," Burt said. "If it doesn't affect _my_ valley--" 

"This must be it, Burt," Tyler said, interrupting the rant Burt had been into, off and on, for the entire two-hour drive. The power wagon approached a locked and guarded gate. 

"Looks like a secret government biotech laboratory," Burt agreed. 

"Hardly a secret," Tyler said, indicating the sign beside the gate that read, "Gibson Biotechnology. KEEP OUT." 

Burt stopped before the gate and gave the guard their names. Other than producing ID, they went through surprisingly little fuss in getting through the gate. Apparently, they were expected. The guard gave them directions to the main building, then let them pass. 

"Turn down there, Burt," Tyler said, as they approached a turnoff. 

"I'm sure the guard said to make no turns," Burt told him. 

"I know," Tyler said with a grin. "But it goes to the lake." 

Burt rolled his eyes but turned. He wasn't exactly eager to start this assignment. He stopped where the road did and surveyed the area. There was a dock and an area set aside as a boat landing, but little else. Not even a boat. Rocks and scrub dotted the area, and little of the facility could be seen from the dock. Since the dock thrust out into a small cove, other beaches nearby were out of view. 

"Satisfied?" Burt said dryly. 

"Not much of a beach, if you ask me," Tyler replied, clearly more disappointed at the lack of bikini-clad women than beachfront amenities. 

Burt just shook his head and turned the truck back to the main road. 

The power wagon pulled up in front of the nondescript, three-storied building and stopped. The small parking lot was full, and contained only assigned parking at any rate. Gibson Biotechnology, it seemed, did not encourage visitors. In that case, Burt felt justified in parking directly in front of the door, blocking the drive to the parking lot. 

As they entered the building, a nervous little man approached them. Burt raised his chin to look down his nose at him. 

"Mr. Gummer? Mr. Reed?" His eyes darted left and right, then behind them, squinting through his spectacles at the lobby's glass doors. "Did you... get lost on the road? You took an awfully long time..." He wrung his hands and looked up at them. 

Burt didn't dignify the question with an answer, but slid a resentful glance toward Tyler. 

Tyler smiled and held out his hand. "I'm Tyler Reed. This is Burt Gummer. Twitchell sent us." 

The man blinked at Tyler's hand a moment as if he wasn't sure what it was for, then belatedly took it for a brief shake. "My name is Dr. Randall. I'll be coordinating the reclamation effort from this end." He turned and started to scurry away, then stopped and gestured the two other men to follow. "Let's get started, shall we?" 

Burt and Tyler, after sharing a quick, dubious glance, followed the man through a maze of corridors dotted with unlabeled, closed doors. Every door had a digital lock with thumbprint access. Initially, Burt distracted himself by wondering how he could get his hands on one of those for his bunker. Then he realized how deep he was in the belly of the beast and started to sweat. 

At last, they came to a door, identical to the rest, and Dr. Randall quickly entered a code on the numberpad, pressed his thumb against the screen, and pushed when the door buzzed. Instead of the expected laboratory with vials, beakers, and caged animals, this room was a conference room, furnished with a long wooden table, thick carpeting, and a viewscreen at one end. The man standing near the viewscreen looked up at their entrance. Another man, seated opposite, close to the door, swiveled toward them as they entered, but didn't stand. He looked them up and down with just a hint of a sneer. He made it clear he wasn't confident in their ability to solve his problem. 

"This is Dr. Richard Stratten," Dr. Randall said. "He's the head of this facility." The man in question barely nodded. "This is Dr. Kruzil," he continued, indicating the other man in the room, who hurried over, hand outstretched. 

"David," he corrected, with an attempt at a friendly smile. 

Tyler met him halfway. "Tyler Reed," he said, then half-turned toward his companion. "Burt Gummer." 

Burt didn't offer his hand. 

"Let's get started," Dr. Stratten said sharply. "We're losing time with all these pleasantries." He turned toward the man on the other side of the table. "Kruzil?" 

David nodded, indicating seats Burt and Tyler should take and sitting next to Dr. Randall. He flicked a switch on the table and the lights dimmed, then touched a button on the remote control in front of him and a projector mounted on the ceiling displayed the Gibson Biotechnology logo on the viewscreen. 

"I don't know how much Agent Twitchell told you about us..." David began. 

"Very little," Burt grumbled. 

"Just that you had something to do with Mixmaster," Tyler said. 

Dr. Stratten shifted in his seat, but said nothing. 

David nodded. "We investigate a number of things," he said. "We--" 

"Just the topic at hand, Kruzil," Dr. Stratten growled. 

"Of course," David said with a nervous bob of his head. "Currently, we're investigating the possible uses of Mixmaster. Unfortunately, our results have been rather... unpredictable." 

"And, occasionally," Dr. Randall added, "unstable." 

"Yes," David continued. He pressed a button on the remote and the image changed to one of a group of orange, ape-like creatures. "We have several of these, a tamarin/chimpanzee hybrid. We refer to these as Model TH - tamarin-hybrid. Very useful to our research, but, as Dr. Randall said, unstable." 

"But very intelligent," Dr. Randall added. 

"They would be," Burt said, his eyes sliding toward Dr. Stratten. "Aren't both species very close to humans?" 

David cleared his throat nervously. "Well, yes, they--" 

"That isn't the issue here," Dr. Stratten interrupted. "We need them recaptured, not investigated. Are you capable of that?" 

Burt nodded. "They shouldn't be difficult to capture. And control." He trained a piercing stare at David. 

"Not very difficult," David said. "Under normal circumstances." He turned to the screen, pressed a button, and the image on the viewscreen changed to another creature, different from the others. "This one is called Model GH. It has some gorilla DNA, and seems to be the ringleader. The others are quite benign, and usually very friendly. This one, however..." 

Dr. Randall chimed in again. "He's a bear to work with. Uncooperative, hostile and very..." 

"Angry," David supplied. "Normally, we keep him locked up very securely. But somehow, the THs got loose just as we were working with the GH. They went crazy and wrecked the lab--" 

"Nearly killed me in the process," Dr. Randall admitted. 

"They were quite destructive," David agreed. He shot Dr. Randall a look. "But for some reason, tend to ignore people in their destruction." 

"Unless the people are impeding them in some way," Dr. Randall added. "Or carrying guns." 

"Precisely," David said. "They've come to recognize the tranquilizer guns we use, from previous escape attempts. The THs were, I'm sure, just playing. They can be quite playful." 

"Not the GH," Dr. Randall added with a slight shudder. 

"No, I'm sure the GH was in deadly earnest. Somehow, though, they all managed to escape. We captured most of them, but are unable to account for two of the THs and, of course, the GH. We fear they've somehow managed to escape the grounds." 

"We've no idea how," Dr. Randall said. "The fences are quite high and electrified. Security measures extend a ways into the water as well." 

"They swam out?" Tyler suggested 

"Most primates can't swim," Burt told him. He turned to David. "Have you got any more information on them?" 

The doctor nodded and slid a folder across the table toward the two Perfection men. "I've prepared a report listing all their vulnerabilities. There aren't many of those." He looked apologetic as he turned the lights back on. 

"There wouldn't be," Burt muttered, and flipped open the folder. There were some photos and two sheets of paper detailing the appearance of the creatures. Not much to go on. 

"I don't need to remind you," Dr. Stratten said, "that this is to be kept strictly under wraps. The only reason you two were brought in is because you already knew about Mixmaster. I don't want this information getting out." 

"We'll keep it on the downlow," Tyler assured him, before Burt could say what he was obviously working up to saying. 

Burt flashed him an irritated glance. "Why primates?" he inquired. 

"You don't need to know anything about that," Dr. Stratten said, standing. "You just need to capture the things." 

"They're actually kinda cute," Tyler said, examining the pictures in the folder - and distracting Burt. 

"Looks like a five-legged spider," Burt added. The long tail on the orange creatures was as thick as the legs. "Only about the size of a large dog." He pulled out a photo of the larger black creature. It stood almost seven feet tall, according to the height marker beside it. Its sharp fangs were barred in a definitely angry expression. "Still think they're cute?" he asked. 

"Not so much, no," Tyler admitted. 

"They're much faster than their primate cousins," David added. "And have an abnormally low body temperature due to various other trace elements in their DNA. We believe this will keep them out in the open, where the heat is." 

Burt looked at Tyler and rolled his eyes. "Scientists," he lamented. 

A buzzer sounded and then a woman's voice came from one of the speakers on the table. "Dr. Stratten, Mr. Twitchell's shipment has arrived." 

Dr. Stratten pushed one of the buttons on the panel in front of him. "Prepare it for our hunters," he said, and cut the switch. He looked toward Burt and Tyler. "Your weapons have arrived." 

"I have my own weapons," Burt told him. 

"Not this time," Dr. Stratten said. "You'll use non-lethal weaponry only. We need those creatures alive." 

"And we can't go contaminating the environment," Tyler reminded him. 

"Your weapons consist of tranquilizer guns and stun rifle," David said. 

"They're quite effective," Dr. Randall added. 

"They don't seem to have helped you," Burt reminded him. 


	2. Part 2

**Where The Wild Things Are**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

Burt lead the way around an outcropping and spotted a bungalow near the water. The sounds of laughter and music floated over from beyond the bungalow. He looked down. The tracks lead toward the bungalow. "What the hell?" 

Tyler came up behind him and looked at the ground. "What?" 

"The tracks," Burt said. "They lead to that house. You'd think someone would have noticed..." 

"Maybe they did. Let's find out." Tyler lead the way to the bungalow. He started toward the music, but Burt stopped him. 

"The tracks lead over this side." 

After one last longing look toward the sounds of laughter, Tyler followed him. 

The trail wound through the rocks behind the bungalow and, eventually, down to the beach. There, Burt lost the trail in the signs of human traffic. 

He turned to Tyler to find the young man had left him in favor of the beach party by the water. "May I remind you we are on a mission?" Burt said when he'd caught up to him. 

"I remember," Tyler said with a smile. "We lost the trail. I'm going to question the locals and see if they might have noticed anything." His ever-so-reasonable expression changed to a grin as he headed straight for the nearest pair of bikini-clad blonds and struck up a conversation. 

Burt seethed impatiently. 

Tyler noticed the shape of Burt's eyes and directed his conversation toward their mission. "We're actually looking for a... an exotic pet," he finally explained. "From... Australia." 

"Oh! Orange?" the one in the red bikini asked. "About this high?" She held her hand up to her waist. 

"That's the one!" Tyler said with one significant glance toward Burt. "Have you seen it?" 

"They looked like costumes," the woman in the blue bikini said. "We thought they were part of the thing at the hotel." 

"Hotel?" Burt demanded. 

"That's the way they were heading." She pointed up over the tree line. "Looked like someone with a couple of kids, I thought." 

Burt and Tyler looked where she pointed. Just above the trees was the last six stories of a high-rise hotel. 

"The Echo Bay Resort," the woman in red supplied. "They've got a big sci-fi convention going on there this weekend." 

Tyler and Burt exchanged a horrified glance. "We'd better inform Twitchell," Burt said. 

Twitchell wasn't hard to find once they entered the resort lobby through the revolving glass doors. He stood dead square in the middle of the lobby, hands on hips, like a mastiff demanding a meal. After a quick threat assessment of the lobby, Burt quickly closed the space between them, leaving his companion behind. 

Tyler had been distracted before they got out of the truck. 

First, it was the blue woman in the flowing, nearly-transparent gown of the same color that crossed their path as they parked in front of the hotel. Then the scantily-clad woman painted green he'd followed through the glass doors. After that, he found himself surrounded by women wearing all kinds of bizarre outfits. There was a woman in a white diaphanous gown with hair piled high, and, he thought, fangs. Then he saw an orange-haired woman wearing nothing more than a series of straps placed strategically across various points of her body. He watched her cross the lobby, waiting for the inevitable slippage that somehow never happened, until an amazon in black leather crossed his path, smiling alluringly. He grinned in return, smoothing the hair back from his forehead and resettling his 51's hat. By the time he found his voice, though, she'd disappeared into the crowd. A pair of women came toward him dressed in some kind of militant-looking costume that allowed their breasts to spill out of the open centerpiece almost entirely. He lost interest when he found their faces were made up to resemble Quasimodo. He smiled at the woman in the lace body stocking who caught his eye. She smiled back, but didn't stop. Another woman replaced her in his view. This one, like her, was dressed in a body stocking, but filled it out a little too well with more-than-ample curves. Eyes wide, he looked away, and caught Burt and Twitchell both staring in his direction, waiting, it seemed, for him to join their conversation. He reminded himself to stop gawking like country-come-to-town and joined them. 

"How are we supposed to find these creatures with all these people around?" Burt demanded. "We'll have to clear them out." 

"No way," Twitchell replied, equally belligerent. "Do I have to remind you that this is supposed to be a top secret operation?" 

Burt scanned the lobby, clearly frustrated. "How are we supposed to tell the creatures from..." He gestured around the lobby at the colorful costumes and outlandish makeup. "... from _this_?" 

"Not my problem," Twitchell replied. "With the costumes some of these people are wearing, the two of you. And apparently there's some kind of Planet of the Apes club here this weekend, along with the rest of the weirdos, so who'll notice the animals? I did manage to get in touch with the guy in charge of this little circus for you," he offered, pulling out his little notepad. "They don't allow guns here, even fake ones, so the animals shouldn't bother the weirdos. I got special permission for you two, though. He told his people you guys are part of a thing called a 'live action role play event', whatever that is. But anyway, the security people will think you're just playing some kind of game, so they'll leave you alone, and there's some kind of weirdo rule about not interfering with one of these event-things, so the rest of the weirdos won't bother you either." 

"Thanks, Twitch," Tyler said. "That's a big help." 

"No problem, that's why I'm here." The sarcasm was lost on Twitchell. He pulled some laminated sheets with dogtag chains attached from his pocket and handed them to Burt. "You'll have to wear these." 

Burt took them. "CIA Supergame, EchoCon Four," he read out loud and shot Twitchell a puzzled frown. 

The DOI man shook his head. "Badges for the convention and this 'live action' thing," he explained. "It'll keep the rest of the kooks off your back about the guns. Apparently, _they_ know what it means." He took a moment to glance around the lobby himself. "I'll, uh, I'll be in the bar. Let me know when you're done." He turned and left as Burt and Tyler exchanged disgusted looks. 

"I just don't see how we can--" 

But Tyler cut him off with a raised hand. "Hey, didn't that scientist say they had a lower body temperature?" 

Burt nodded. "He did." 

"They give us anything that'll track that?" 

"No..." Burt said, but his expression made it clear he had an idea. He pursed his lips while pondering a moment more, then shook his head. "I've got something that'll do the trick, but I'll have to go back to Perfection for it." 

"We'll lose at least four hours that way," Tyler protested. Then he snapped his fingers. "Why don't you just have Kylie bring it?" 

"No!" burst out of Burt's mouth, then he paused, frowning at Tyler, and finally nodded. It was the best solution. He just hated giving out the codes to his bunker. But at least Kylie knew where everything was. He'd just have to change the codes again when he got back... 

Tyler handed over his cell phone and he dialed. Then waited while Jodi got Nancy and Nancy went to find Kylie. He didn't think she'd ever get to the phone. When she finally came on the line with her usually cheery "Hi Burt!" they went through the usual arguments when he complained about her lack of timeliness until Kylie cut him off. 

"What do you _want_, Burt? Or did you just call because you missed me?" 

Burt took a deep breath. That woman... "I need you to bring me some things. That scanner Jasper rigged up for me when he was in the valley last time, and those infrared goggles I just got in. If you--" 

"And I'm just supposed to drop everything to fetch and carry for you?" Kylie complained. 

"Yes. Now if you'll get something to write on, you'll need the codes for my bunker." He switched the phone to his other side to get out of Tyler's hearing, but realized that wasn't really necessary. He'd already found two half-naked women to talk to and was paying little attention to the matter at hand. 

"I don't need paper," Kylie was saying. 

Burt rolled his eyes. "You know you'll just forget once I hang up," he told her. 

"No, I mean, I don't need the codes." 

The hairs on the back of his neck came to attention. "_Why?_" 

"H-7-B-G-4-A," she recited. "Right?" 

"_And how in the hell did you know that_?" he demanded, his voice harsh. 

"Well, you know how you always shield the keypad with your body?" 

"Yes. Standard Operating Procedure..." 

"You don't do that anymore," she said. "And... I peeked." 

Burt stared at the phone while the chaos around him faded into the background. How could he have let down his guard to such an extent? 

"You all right?" Tyler said, beside him. 

Burt focused on his face with difficulty, then turned his attention back to the phone. "Who else knows?" he demanded. 

"Just me, Burt," Kylie told him, affronted. "Do you think I'd blab?" 

"No, I..." He tried to remember if anyone else had been out to his bunker that he might have allowed to capture his security codes. Maybe everyone knew. There could be a serious security breach... 

"Burt?" 

Kylie's voice, shaking him out of his reverie. "You'll have to hurry," he said, businesslike again. "Every minute counts." 

"I'm ready to go, Burt. Just waiting for you to hang up." 

He did. 

Burt closed the phone with a snap and handed it back to Tyler. "She'll be here in a couple hours," he said. "Meanwhile, we should scout the hotel and get a search grid mapped out. We'll start with the service corridors downstairs, I think." 

Tyler nodded and started toward the back of the hotel. 

Burt stopped Tyler with a hand on his shoulder. "Do you know my codes?" he asked. 

"To your bunker?" Tyler stared at him. "Are you kidding? You make me wait at the top of the stairs until you've got the door open." 

Burt shook his head. That woman was corrupting him... 


	3. Part 3

**Where The Wild Things Are**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

A little over an hour later, Tyler's cell phone chirped, alerting the men to Kylie's arrival. 

"Are you sure she's at the right hotel?" Burt asked, as they made their way to the front of the hotel to meet her. "It should have taken her at least another hour." He thought about the process involved in getting Kylie to go anywhere. "And since it's Kylie, it should have taken two." 

"She said she could see it, Burt," Tyler said. "She should already be here." 

They passed through the revolving doors in time to see Kylie's green Range Rover pull into the valet parking driveway in front of the hotel. A valet hurried to open her door and Burt heard her tell him, "No, no, leave it right here," as she slid out of the truck and danced around the man as he attempted to protest. 

Burt and Tyler both came to a halt, mouths open and eyes wide. 

Kylie smiled up at the valet, assuring his compliance, then turned her smile to them. She wore knee-high black boots, a hip hugging miniskirt, and a sheer, midriff-baring top that revealed a lacy purple bra underneath. It was almost possible to hear the blaring guitar theme music that would accompany her as she made her way directly across the crowded driveway toward them. 

Burt still gaped at her, appalled, when she reached them, while a pleased grin spread across Tyler's face. 

"What's with the getup?" Tyler asked. 

"Burt said to hurry," she replied, as if that explained everything. 

Burt and Tyler exchanged a look, then stared back at her, puzzled. 

She rolled her eyes. "I might have gotten stopped by the cops." Synapses were firing, she could see, but the man weren't quite with her yet. "Do you think any self-respecting heterosexual cop is going to give a ticket to _this_?" She indicated herself, her outfit, and the general air of "hot babe" that surrounded her. 

"Did it work?" Tyler finally asked. 

She cocked her head at him. "How do you think I got here so fast? I had an escort 10 miles past Bixby." 

Burt just shook his head. With this woman, there was no telling... "Did you bring the gear?" 

"Of course," she said, smiling up at him. "Two goggles, one tricorder." She pointed back toward her truck. "Also rifles, three knives, my Kimber and some of your extra ammo. I know you don't like to run short." 

He nodded his approval. "Well you'd better strap on your gear. We're going monster hunting." 

Between Burt's truck and Kylie's Rover, the three of them were finally suited up and on the job. Tyler caught sight of them in one of the mirrors lining the elevator banks. Burt wore his usual camouflage, combat boots and holster, plus the stun rifle slung across his back, and carried one of the dart guns Twitchell had supplied him with, as well as the custom handheld scanner Kylie brought. Kylie still wore the getup she arrived in but added her holster with both gun and knife, a set of goggles she'd brought from Burt's, and carried the trank pistol. He looked almost normal with just the goggles and trank pistol. He compared the three of them with the other denizens in the hotel and shook his head. Strange as they looked, they hardly elicited a second glance. "At least we'll fit right in." he muttered. 

Burt quickly filled Kylie in on the details. "We're after three creatures. Two - THs - about a meter in height, orange-furred. They walk on all fours, mostly, and have a long thick tail. These are, apparently, benign." His expression showed the likelihood of that actually being the case. "The other - the GH - the leader of the group, is larger. Black-furred, almost two meters high." 

"Two trolls and an ogre. Got it," Kylie said. She was already scanning the crowds for likely targets. 

"The big one isn't so nice," Tyler added. "With big teeth. They said he's friendly as long as he gets what he wants but can turn surly if you get in his way." 

"Which is exactly what we plan to do," Burt pointed out. 

"So... we're not going to be friends," Kylie commented. 

"Not friends at all," Burt said. "They all seem to like quiet, enclosed areas, so we're going to start with some of the hotel's maintenance corridors." They arrived at a nondescript door hidden from general view by a small alcove with a curtain. Burt used the access card he'd acquired from the hotel manager to open the door and they entered an entirely different world from the main hotel. 

They went down a set of metal stairs enclosed by bare cement walls. The piping and electrical conduits were exposed here, the stairs lit only at the landings. They passed three on their way down, until Burt went through another unmarked door. While the lobby had been bright and airy and full of noise, this corridor was dark, closed in, and deadly quiet. Their boot heels clanged noisily on the cement underfoot as they crept from one puddle of light to the next. 

"All three creatures' body heat signature is lower than humans," Burt continued, his voice unconsciously hushed. "I'll use the scanner to get in the general vicinity of the creatures, but you two will need to use the goggles to verify which strange creature to shoot at, once we're up top." 

"'Strange creatures'?" Kylie whispered to Tyler. 

"Costumes," he explained. 

"Ah..." 

The scanner Burt held chirped once and all three came to a halt to examine the small readout. "Target acquired," Burt said with some satisfaction. "Should be..." He paused as his sharp eyes pierced the darkness ahead. "Right around the next cross-corridor." He slipped the scanner into a pocket on his tactical vest and prepared the dart gun. 

Burt leading the way, the three hurried quietly toward the corner. They slowed, then came to a stop at Burt's signal, and Burt cautiously peered around the wall. 

Just as he'd predicted, the creature was there. "A TH," he whispered as he ducked back around. "One of the smaller ones." It had found a package of peanuts and was busily - and messily - ingesting the lot. 

Kylie sidled up in front of Burt, and before he could stop her, peered around. Then froze. 

"Kylie, would you--" Burt began. 

"It's looking at me," Kylie whispered, barely moving her lips. 

Burt nodded approvingly. "Don't move. It might require motion to see you." 

Her eyes rolled in his direction, but she remained still otherwise. 

Pushing Tyler out of the way, Burt eased out from between Kylie and the wall - why did she always have to get so close? - and readied his dart gun. He'd just shoot it while it wasn't expecting an attack. 

Suddenly the creature screamed. 

"It saw me!" Kylie said as she ducked out of the way. 

Which suited Burt just fine. He leaped out to the corridor, in the path of the charging animal, quickly took aim, and fired. He shot another dart into it before it stumbled, then fell, coming to a rest at Burt's feet. 

Burt spared the creature a satisfied glance, then looked to his companions. Kylie was behind Tyler, a white-fingered death grip on his arm. The younger man didn't seem to mind. He scowled. "Next time," he said to her, "stay behind me." 

Kylie nodded quickly. "I'll remember that." 

He turned back to the creature as Tyler shook off Kylie's grasp and knelt to examine it. "Good shooting, Burt." 

Burt only nodded. 

Kylie stood next to Burt. "He's actually kinda cute..." She looked up at Burt's disgusted snort. "Except for the screaming and attacking part..." 

"We'll need to get this to the truck Twitchell brought." 

Tyler took out his cell phone, but frowned at it. "I'm not getting a signal down here." 

Burt took out his radio. "Twitchell!" He got back chatter and static, but no BLM agent. He put the radio back in his pocket in with a grimace of disgust. He turned to Kylie. "You'll have to go get him. Have him meet us at the loading dock." 

"Why me?" she complained. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I was put on this earth to fetch and carry for you, Burt Gummer!" 

Burt's eyebrow rose at the insubordination and he opened his mouth, but Tyler beat him to the punch. 

"You want to help carry this thing?" he said. "It a lot heavier than it looks. No problem, though. You carry it to the loading dock on the other side of the building, and I'll go have a drink at the bar." 

Kylie rolled her eyes. "Oh, all _right_." She only shook a finger at Burt's smug expression. 

The two men chuckled as she departed, both enjoying the view of her retreating figure. When she'd disappeared into the darkness, they hefted the creature up, Burt at the head, Tyler at the feet. 

"_Ugh!_" Tyler grunted with the effort. "Maybe I should have let her stay." 

"No problem," Burt said, straining under the creature's burden. "I saw a hotel cart around the corner. We only have to carry it that far." 

Tyler fell against the wall, laughing, and dropped the TH. 

As soon as they'd loaded the creature in the cage at the back of the truck Twitchell provided, Burt had them back on the hunt. They returned to the nether regions of the hotel, patrolling dark corridor after dark corridor. Their latest hallway was even darker than the rest. Every fifth light or so was lit, no more. The corridor itself was a maze of crates and boxes, stored here, then forgotten, if the layer of dust on most of them was any indication. 

"What kind of phobia does this place have about lights?" Tyler wondered. 

"Power consumption can be a hotel's greatest expense," Kylie told him. "I'm surprised they've got any lights on here at all. I wouldn't allow it if I were running things." But every time Burt paused, she huddled close to him for reassurance. 

"Still..." Tyler began. 

A chittering growl came from the darkness. The three froze. 

"That can't be good," Kylie whispered. 

"Shhh," Burt hissed. "I think it came from that--" 

Before he could finish his sentence, the growl turned into a roar and something large and dark leaped over the crates stacked less than ten yards away. 

All three fired, but it kept coming. 

"Run!" Burt yelled, and the three were in action. Behind them, the creature leapt from crate to crate in pursuit. Burt yanked at the doors that lined the hallway at random intervals. The third one gave and he flung it open, reaching one hand out to pull Kylie to a stop. Tyler, then Kylie, and finally Burt crowded in, but it was just a maintenance closet, hardly room enough for the three of them. 

The creature nearly wrenched the door out of Burt's hands as it reached their position and tried to grab hold of them. Burt kept a firm two-handed grasp on the knob, though, and pulled it as near to closed as he could. "Move back!" he shouted. He heard some shifting behind him and then something pulled on his vest from behind. He pulled the door along with him and it snicked shut. Burt felt for a lock but there was none. "We'll just have to hope he doesn't understand doorknobs," he muttered. 

The creature beat and kicked at the door, screaming angrily in a chittering voice. But gradually, the howling and blows to the door lost force and slowed. Finally, the beast moved away, and Burt could hear him taking his anger out on the crates in the corridor. 

"Thank you, Goddess," Kylie whispered from near the floor. 

Burt tried to twist and see where she was, but there was hardly room to breathe. As the thudding of his heart slowed, he took stock of his surroundings. He could feel Tyler behind his back, obviously up on something, while Kylie was crouched near the floor, one arm wrapped around his knee for balance. He could feel the rest of her leaning against him and his heart started thudding in his ears again. 

"Is there a light?" he asked, running a hand along the wall near the door. 

He heard the sound of a light cord being pulled, but nothing happened. The sound came three more times in quick succession before he heard Tyler behind him. "No." 

Burt sighed. "We'll have to wait until we're sure he's gone," he whispered into the darkness. 

"Fine by me," Tyler said. 

"Yeah, I'm comfortable," Kylie muttered from the floor, her voice as sarcastic as Tyler's. 

Again Burt tried to twist around. "What are you on?" he asked Tyler. 

"A sink, I expect," the younger man replied. 

"You better hope it holds," Kylie whispered. She'd obviously crouched below the sink. 

Burt listened. "It's definitely moving away," he said. "Shouldn't be long." Then he closed his eyes and shook his head after listening a few more minutes. "It's coming back." 

The thing left and returned twice more, slamming into doors as it went. The three listened intently and waited until Burt deemed it safe. 

Burt, pressed against the door, was gritting his teeth. Over the last ten minutes, Kylie's fingers had slowly started stroking his leg, just above his knee. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. "What are you doing?" he demanded. 

"What?" Tyler said. 

"Not _you_," Burt replied, annoyed. "_You_." 

"Me?" Kylie asked. "I'm not doing anything." 

Burt sighed. "Get your hand off my leg," he reluctantly ground out. 

Tyler chuckled. 

"If I do, I'm going to fall over," Kylie complained. 

"Well stop..." he heaved a sigh. "Stop doing that." 

She giggled, but at least she'd stopped rubbing. "What is that material, Burt? It's soft." 

Her fingers slipped up and down again and Burt held himself tightly to keep from shuddering. "I don't know," he ground out. "Now _stop it_". 

He heard Tyler's snicker from the darkness. 

Burt opened the door. If that thing came back again, he'd shoot it with the Eagle. 

Later, they lost the trail of the big creature when he entered the guest area of the hotel. Tyler, however, spotted one of the THs disappearing through the crowd, and they were hot on the trail. 

It slipped into one of the big conference rooms, this one filled with tables and stands of merchandise - and hundreds of people, most in some kind of costume. 

Kylie slipped her goggles off to look around. 

"Keep your eyes sharp," Burt cautioned them. "We've got too many civilians to take chances." 

Kylie slipped the goggles back on, scanned the room, then pushed them up to her forehead. Her eyes darted around the room again as the three of them slowly advanced through the aisles, then slid the goggles in front of her eyes again. She reached up to push them back again but Burt's hand shot out and stopped her. 

"They're not doing any good if you don't leave them _on_," he growled. 

"Hard to see with them on, Burt," she complained. "I keep running into things." 

"If you take them off, you're going to run into the monster, and even you don't want that," he explained, in his too reasonable voice. 

Kylie stuck her tongue out at him, but left them on. 

The passed a rack of fantasy-themed costumes as they reached a cross-corridor in the aisles. Kylie glanced toward Burt then slid the goggles up to her forehead again, sidestepping toward the rack to examine a chain mail halter on display. She smiled, wondering how she could manage to just _happen_ to be wearing this sometime around Burt. She giggled. He was such a prude. The look on his face would be priceless... 

She glanced once over her shoulder, but the two men were on their way down the aisle and didn't notice her. She flipped quickly through the rest of the costumes, took note of the booth number displayed at the back, then started to turn away. 

She heard the chittering and started to raise her gun, but it was already too late. 

The other orange creature burst through the rack of costumes and was on her before she really knew what was happening. She staggered back with a loud cry. Her gun went flying one direction, the goggles another, as she tried to hold the thing off her. Her legs gave and she went down with another scream, still trying to hold off the monster. It was going for her throat! She struggled, but it was strong for its size, and once her arm bent, it was all over. Its face nuzzled her shoulder and neck and she felt a warm, slick tongue slide across her skin. 

"_EEEEW!_" she cried, pushing against it with all her might. She was disgusted and the slime trail it left across her neck and down her chest. And it smelled bad too. 

It threw it's head back then, and uttered that chittering howl, still holding the struggling Kylie pinned below it. Then the creature's movements slowed, and with one last slurp across her lips, it slumped limply on top of her, knocking the breath out of her lungs. 

As she struggled for air, suddenly the creature flew off her and she saw Burt kneeling next to her, demanding to know if she was all right. 

She opened her mouth to answer, but still couldn't get enough air. 

Burt dropped his gun and grasped her shoulders, nearly in a panic. "Are you all right?" he demanded. "Where are you hurt?" He ran insistent hands down her arms and legs, holding her away from him to look for damage. 

Kylie looked up at his frightened face from her position in his arms. Finally, her lungs started working, and she gasped in a breath of air. "Fine, Burt! I'm fine!" she assured him. "Slimy... but fine. It just tried to... lick me to death." 

Burt's relief was obvious, but he still didn't let her go. If anything had happened to her... 

Tyler's voice broke in from behind Burt. "You two want to be alone?" 

Burt twisted to scowl at him, and dropped Kylie like yesterday's news. He stood swiftly. "Checking her for injuries," he muttered. He took a deep breath, all business again, while Tyler leaned down to help Kylie to her feet. "We'll need to get this into one of the cages Twitchell brought," he said. He glanced at Kylie. "Need to gather up her gear, too. And clear out some of these people." 

Tyler and Kylie shared a glance. Tyler shook his head. Kylie just smiled and shrugged. 

As Burt and Tyler carried the creature out between them, Kylie carrying the extra gear, the crowd in the dealer's room cheered. 


	4. Part 4

**Where The Wild Things Are**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

The chase heated up after that. The big, black GH knew it was being hunted and had no intention of getting caught. Its strategy was simple: stay in the crowds and keep moving. 

Unfortunately for its hunters, it was a very effective strategy. 

The three reached another event room, packed with people, as were most of them. He spotted the creature, dead ahead, as it threw back its head and howled. He couldn't hear it from this distance, but he had a clear shot. He lifted the dart gun and took careful aim. 

Just as his finger began to tighten the trigger, Tyler pushed it up toward the ceiling. Burt glared at him. 

"That's a person, Burt!" 

Burt looked at the fur-covered thing. "How the hell can you tell?" 

"Because the people are _carrying plastic cups_!" 

Burt looked closer at it, and pursed his lips. Sure enough, it held a red plastic cup and took a drink from it while Burt watched. They'd been after the wrong creature. "We've got to herd this thing away from people." 

Kylie followed them into the room and looked around. "I could do with a drink myself," she said, heading for the large punchbowl in the center of the room. She stopped abruptly and peered around Tyler, who'd begun following her. "You aren't going to shoot me, are you, Burt?" she asked, a twinkle in her eyes. 

Burt shook his head. "Don't tempt me." 

She reached out and took his arm, leading him toward the punch bowl. "A little liquid refreshment, a little food, you'll feel better." 

"We've got a mission to complete," he reminded her, though he didn't fight her pull as much as he could have. 

"Eat something now, kill something later," she told him. She filled cups for them both, handed him a couple of the sandwiches that were laid out nearby, then herded the men over toward the couches that lined the room. She smiled and a small barbarian hoard slid a little further down the couch so Burt and Tyler could sit down. Kylie gathered Burt's dart gun and stun rifle and leaned them against the wall, asked a nearby Stormtrooper to push an end table a little closer so the men could set down their drinks, and even provided napkins. 

"It's like having a little mom," Tyler commented. 

Kylie settled on the arm of the couch next to Burt and rested one foot on the cushion between them. Both men's eyes were drawn to the length of thigh on display by this position. 

"Or... not _mom_ exactly..." Tyler amended. 

The three ate their meal, Tyler enjoying the view, not only of Kylie, but the parade of scantily clad ladies that caught his eye, Burt studiously _not_ enjoying the view, Kylie or otherwise, and Kylie gathering a group of young men around to do her bidding. Burt glared at them impartially and they tried to ignore him in favor of jockeying for a position near Kylie. 

After 15 minutes of Kylie's flirting, Burt had had enough. He stood, dislodging Kylie's foot and distracting Tyler from viewing the scenery. "We've got a mission to complete, you two," he reminded them, reaching across Kylie for the weaponry. 

She smiled up at him, but didn't budge. "Geez, Burt, you can give it a half hour." 

"We have a job to do," he insisted, reaching again for the guns. 

Kylie shook her head but leaned back behind her to get them, affording Burt a close-up view of her barely-clad breasts. He stood abruptly and backed away, stumbling into a few of her admirers. He scowled down at Kylie just as she turned back. She looked at him, confused. "What? I got your guns." She held them out to him. 

Burt snatched them from her and turned, almost hoping one of the surrounding men would refuse to give ground. 

They didn't. 

As the three left the room, a couple of men dressed and made up to resemble the two Quasimodo-like women Tyler had seen earlier entered. Their eyes locked on Kylie immediately, and followed her progress toward the door. Burt glanced toward her to see how she reacted. She smiled at them, enjoying the attention. Burt and Tyler shared a glance. The younger man thought it was amusing. Burt didn't. "Stop encouraging them," Burt grumbled to her. 

She gave him her innocent look. 

Burt's warning came too late. The men were more intent on Kylie than where they were going and walked headlong into the table holding the punchbowl. It wobbled and folded, sending punch, sandwiches and chips crashing to the floor. 

Burt paused in the doorway to watch the damage, then turned to glare at Kylie. 

"What?" she demanded. 

Burt just shook his head and strode away. 

"That wasn't my fault!" 

Burt just kept walking, Tyler following in his wake, a grin on his face. 

"How can you think that was my fault! I wasn't even near the table. Now come on..." 

"Well you can't blame them," Tyler said. 

"Who says I can't?" Burt grumbled, and lengthened his stride. 

Burt scowled at the scanner again. "It says the thing's in here," he announced, reluctantly. 

"Why's it like the dealer's room so much?" Tyler, beside him, asked. 

"Probably all the people," Burt told him. "It's practically tunnel-like, with all the aisles, so he's right at home." He looked at Kylie, to his other side. "Try to keep the goggles _on_ this time," he reminded her. "And watch yourself." He didn't think she'd be as lucky as she was last time she'd been attacked. 

She smiled and winked, then stepped into the room, gun at the ready - and goggles pushed back to her forehead. 

Burt pushed them down to her eyes. 

"Ow!" Kylie cried, ducking out of his reach. "Burt! Watch the hair!" She took them off and arranged her hair under the goggles while Burt glared at her, but she kept them on afterward, and with that, Burt had to be satisfied. 

They hadn't gone very far down the second aisle when Burt noticed a pair of young men in black t-shirts and jeans eying Kylie's legs. They didn't notice his warning scowl. Soon, though, Kylie became aware of their attention and shot Burt a glance. She shrugged in response to his glare and continued scanning the room for their quarry. Kylie skirted past the pair without giving them a sign she noticed their attention, but Burt glanced back and saw them following her progress. He sidestepped to block their view. 

Then the three of them whirled, weapons at the ready, as an enormous crash came from behind. 

It wasn't their creature. 

Kylie's two admirers had apparently been paying more attention to her progress than their own and ran into a pair of magazine racks, sending them, and one of the young men, to the ground. Derisive laughter and applause rang out from the amused crowd. 

Burt shot Kylie a look, one eyebrow raised significantly. 

She pushed her goggles up to her forehead. "Don't you give me that 'I told you so' look, Burt. That wasn't my faul--" 

With a howl, the black creature came through the crowd, pushing the convention-goers aside as it went. All three quickly took aim, but Kylie, on the left side of the wide aisle and nearest the creature, was the only one with a clear line of fire. 

She fired, but missed. The creature spun and dove into the crowd. The shot went wild, grazing a rack of boxed action figures and toys, which toppled into the booth next to it, pulling down the drapery, and causing the ten foot wooden sign to fall into the easels of paintings in the next booth, leaving all three areas in total chaos. 

She gave Burt a sheepish look. "Okay, _that_ was my fault." 

Burt shook his head while Tyler laughed over the disaster, but there wasn't time for a full accounting. They had to run after the creature. 

They tracked the GH easily this time. The trail of startled people in the crowd was unmistakable. They followed him up the stairs and through the lobby, to the bank of elevators. The three rounded the corner just as the creature disappeared into one of the elevators. 

"We've got him cornered now!" Burt shouted triumphantly. 

But the doors closed as they approached. 

Burt commandeered the elevator next to it by pushing people out of the way as it opened and people started spilling out. Kylie and Tyler followed him inside. 

"Is he going up or down?" Tyler demanded from the control panel. 

Burt watched through the glass. "Up!" 

Tyler punched in a number. "Keep an eye on him! Can you see which numbers are lit up?" 

Burt pressed himself against the glass, raising as high as he could, but he couldn't get a clear view. 

"Gimme a knee, Burt!" Kylie insisted. 

He bent one knee and Kylie quickly used it for a boost - something they'd done many times so Kylie could climb the rocky terrain around the valley. She stretched as high as she could, using the elevator rail for balance. "Seven!" she shouted. 

Tyler punched in seven, just before the elevator reached the floor, and the box slid to a halt. 

The creature's elevator had stopped just seconds before, and it dashed out of the elevator the moment the doors opened. 

Then their doors slid aside, Burt, Kylie, and Tyler dashed out too. 

The creature saw them and stopped dead, his eyes torn between the corridor ahead and the still-open elevator doors. 

He chose the elevator. 

Burt, Tyler and Kylie ran back to their own, Burt quickly boosting Kylie up to see. 

"Which floor?" Tyler demanded, poised to press a button. 

"He hit a bunch of them!" Kylie said, straining to make out the panel. 

"What's the lowest one?" Burt prompted. 

"Mmmm... 18!" 

Tyler punched in the number and the elevator slid into motion. 

As they followed, the creature screamed defiance at them, while Burt gritted his teeth in steely determination. "Oh if I could just get a shot..." 

The GH's elevator came to a stop at last, the hunters' soon after. By the time their doors opened, the creature was halfway down the quiet corridor, and doors along the hall were already beginning to open. Burt paused and aimed the stun rifle, but it just didn't have the range. They were off and running. 

It was fast, very fast. They'd never catch up to it at this rate. Kylie quickly took the lead, her daily run giving her the edge. But still the creature pulled away. 

When it came to a balcony, however, it paused to scream at the people across the open lobby, sending echoes throughout interior of the hotel, and giving the pursuers a chance to catch up. 

Burt paused not ten yards away and shouted. "Kylie! Get out of the way!" She threw herself against the wall and he fired the tranquilizer gun. The beast screamed, but didn't drop. Instead, he ran. Again at top speed, the creature pulled away, slammed into the exit door at the end of the corridor, and disappeared into the stairwell. 

Burt and Tyler caught up with Kylie and the three paused at the stairwell door, readying their strategy should the beast be poised, waiting for them. 

"I can't believe I missed," Burt muttered. 

"You didn't," Kylie said. 

He stared at her. "It didn't stop." 

"I was right _there_ Burt. You hit him square in the shoulder." 

"You're sure?" 

Kylie nodded. 

He wanted to interrogate her further, but there was no time. 

"He's heading down," Tyler said, listening at the door. 

The three burst through the door and started clattering after him, periodically looking over the rail to track the thing's progress. They lost time because they were unwilling to leap the railings every third step, but thanks to Burt's long legs and Kylie's speed, they didn't lose it. 

They left the stairwell at the 10th floor and sped down the corridor after it, until it hit the stairwell again at the opposite side of the hotel. Again they clattered down after it. 

The 8th floor saw them gaining ground as the creature had to weave through people scattered like furniture throughout the hall. Kylie took the lead again, shouting, "Get out of the way! _Move!_" to clear a path for the men behind. They got very close midway down the hall, but Burt didn't dare take a shot through the crowds. 

The thing burst out to a balcony then suddenly dived over the side. 

Burt, Tyler and Kylie bent over the balcony and saw the beast running away on the balcony below. 

Burt looked at Tyler, then Kylie and back to Tyler. "We could lower her down..." 

"Are you _crazy_?" Kylie said. "That's eight stories!" 

"Stairs," Tyler said. 

They ran to the exit door at the end of the hall at a run and clattered down the stairs, Burt in the lead. He burst out of the stairwell at full speed, then came to a halt, weapon at the ready. 

Tyler hit him, then Kylie ran into them both. Only his balanced stance kept them all from hitting the ground. 

"Where'd he go?" Tyler said between gulps of air. 

Burt shook his head, scanning the area. He cautiously started down the hall. 

Suddenly, the creature burst from the nearest doorway. It started in their direction then froze when it saw them. It spun and ran in the opposite direction. 

Burt ran after it, Kylie and Tyler close behind. It hit the door at the end of the hall, and disappeared into the stairwell again. They reached the door before it closed, and Burt saw it run down. As it ran full out down the hallway at the next floor, the three hunters were in pursuit. Once again they clattered down the stairs after it. Burt burst out of the stairwell at a run, but suddenly stopped. He spun, catching Kylie in one outstretched arm, Tyler in the other. "No! Run!" Over Burt's shoulder, they saw the creature coming toward them. Burt gathered them and they ran back into the stairwell and up. 

It followed, barely pausing as it saw them, and went in the opposite direction. 

"After it!" Burt shouted, and they changed directions and followed. 

The creature left the stairwell two floors down. This level was crowded, filled with people sitting and standing along the walls, furniture that had been dragged out of rooms, and signs set up at some of the doors. It ran into one of the rooms, wreaking havoc, from the sounds that came from within. 

The three reached the doorway and looked for the creature. "There!" shouted Tyler, and pointed toward a wide-open double door. There were more screams from the other side. The three ran after it, finding another door in this room exiting to the hall. They pursued. The people in the rooms cheered them on. 

"They're all nuts!" Burt took the time to comment. 

"This is Larry's crowd," Tyler explained. 

"That explains it," Burt muttered. 

The GH saw them gaining on it and poured on a burst of speed. They'd almost reached it when suddenly it stopped and turned toward them, with a shriek. 

They skidded to a halt. 

"What's it doing?" Kylie shouted. 

"It's coming for _us_ again!" Tyler replied. 

They spun and ran. 

They tried the doors along the corridor until one opened and they darted inside, closing and locking it behind, crouching with their ears against the door to listen for the creature. 

"Man, I feel like Wakko, Yakko, and Dot," Tyler complained. 

Burt shot him a puzzled frown before turning to Kylie for an explanation. 

She shrugged and shook her head. "No idea." 

As one, they turned back to Tyler. 

"Animaniacs?" he prompted. 

Burt just looked blank. Kylie blinked. 

He shook his head. "Never mind." 

"I think it's gone," Burt said, and cautiously opened the door. They set off again after the monster, tracking it by following the commotion it left in its wake. 

"This is getting us nowhere," Burt muttered, during a rest break at two intersecting corridors. Then his eyes sharpened. 

Kylie smiled at Tyler. "Burt's come up with _A Plan_." 

Burt nodded. "Tyler, circle around to the other side of this balcony. Kylie and I will go around the other way. We'll herd it into a trap and shoot it." 

"Sounds like a plan to me," Tyler said and headed off in the direction Burt gave him. 

Burt lead Kylie in the opposite direction. 


	5. Part 5

**Where The Wild Things Are**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

Burt stopped and scanned the area. "Tyler should be able to herd him this far," he said. "We'll wait." He nodded toward one of the room door alcoves. "We'll take cover in there. It won't see us until it's too late, then, give it all you've got." 

Kylie nodded and stepped into the doorway's cover, waiting. 

And waiting. 

"You think Tyler's in trouble?" she finally asked. 

Burt shook his head. "I just saw him at the end of that balcony. Shouldn't be long now." 

Kylie heaved a sigh and knelt down. "Tell me when there's some action." She shifted, getting comfortable for the long wait, then lost her balance a moment, grabbing Burt's leg for support. 

Burt rolled his eyes. That girl was always grabbing _something_. He gritted his teeth and waited for her to steady herself and let go. 

But she didn't. 

Soon, Burt looked down. She was back to rubbing his leg again. He tried to pull his leg away, but she held on. 

"Kylie," he said at last. "Will you stop _fondling_ my leg?" 

Kylie looked at her hand wrapped around Burt's knee, then up to Burt's face. "'Fondling'?" she asked with a smirk. "Is that what you think I'm doing?" 

"Yes," he replied grimly. "Now stop it." 

"This isn't 'fondling', Burt. If I was 'fondling', I think my hand would be a bit higher." She paused to measure the distance from her hand to his crotch with her eyes. "Actually, a lot higher." 

He jerked his leg away. "Whatever you want to call it, just _stop_ it." 

"I wasn't 'fondling' your leg, Burt." He could hear the giggle in her voice already. "I was 'fondling' the fabric." 

He heard a distinct snicker. "Just... leave me alone." 

She giggled. "I'm sorry. Don't start feeling all violated." He just glared at her. "Don't you ever want to touch something that feels good and you just can't resist?" 

By sheer will, he forced his eyes to stay on her face. "_I_ can control myself." If he concentrated, he could pretend he didn't even realize she was actually half naked and kneeling at his feet. "Unlike some people," he added. 

"Self-control has never been a big point with me," she admitted with a grin. Her hand started to stray toward his leg again. 

He took another step away. "You should work on that." 

"And you should work on giving in." 

"I don't think--" 

Tyler appeared at the end of the hall and Burt immediately darted out of the alcove toward him. He had a feeling this would be one of those things she just wouldn't see sense in. "Where is it?" he asked when he reached the younger man. 

Tyler shook his head. "I think it went down the stairwell, but I didn't see it in there." 

Burt flipped out his scanner. "We don't want to lose it." He started toward the stairwell in a hurry, finally running to keep up with Kylie, who'd passed them in a sprint. 

She flung open the door just as Burt shouted, "Wait!" 

It was too late. 

The GH filled the doorway as Kylie skidded to a halt. Both stared, wide-eyed, at the other for a split second before Kylie screamed - matched by the chittering howl of the creature. 

Kylie slammed the door. 

She fell back as Burt reached for the door, then stumbled into Tyler. The two of them went down in a heap, Kylie trying to simultaneously climb over Tyler and twist her gun toward the door before Burt could open it. 

Burt flung open the door and aimed, firing a quick shot into the retreating back of the creature. It howled again and ran down the stairs. 

Burt started to follow, but stopped. He looked to the floor, where a smiling Tyler held Kylie half in his lap, her leg nearly wrapped around his waist. His eyes narrowed and he took one step toward his partner, before taking control of himself. His eyebrows rose. "You going to let her go?" he demanded. 

"Hey, she jumped _me_," Tyler said, but reluctantly dropped his arms away from her. 

Burt grabbed Kylie's arm to pull her up, then shoved her through the door, keeping a suspicious eye on Tyler. 

"What?" Tyler complained, getting to his feet. 

"Try to keep your mind on the mission," Burt muttered, before hurrying off after Kylie's retreating footsteps. 

They followed the creature down to the basement and into an open staging area just off the loading docks. 

Burt paused at the open door and scanned the room, glancing at the indications on the scanner. Tyler and Kylie stood behind him, weapons at the ready. Crates and boxes were scattered haphazardly in the dim light. "He's in here somewhere," Burt said, watching the readout on his scanner. He looked across the room, toward the overhead doors, then pointed in that direction. Burt hit the switch next to the door and flooded the room with light. They heard the chittering growl from the direction Burt had indicated. When the creature didn't immediately strike, Burt stepped cautiously into the room, alert for any attack. 

Tyler and Kylie followed him into the room, taking up stations on either side, aiming their weapons in opposite directions. Burt quickly secured the door behind them. 

"We can trap him in here," Burt told them. "There's no escape." He scanned the room and came up with a plan. "You two circle around that way. Make some noise. That should herd him toward me. I'll flank him and cut off his escape." 

Kylie and Tyler nodded and moved off to the right. Burt moved off to the left. 

"You think this'll work?" Tyler asked, then kicked the nearest crate. 

"Burt's plans always work," Kylie replied, kicking a crate on her side. 

"That last one worked real well." Tyler kicked another crate. 

"This _is_ the last one. Modified." Kylie shot Tyler a grin before slamming the butt of her gun into a box beside her. 

"Yeah, but I don't--" 

Suddenly the GH loomed above them atop the crate Tyler was about to kick. 

They backed away, then ran, darting through the maze of crates. 

"Burt!" Kylie screamed. 

Suddenly Tyler grabbed at Kylie's holster and pulled her back, ducking them both into an open-ended crate. It was wide enough for the both of them, and long enough that the GH couldn't reach them. 

As long as it stayed outside the box. 

It started beating angrily on the crate. Tyler pulled his jackknife out of his pocket and aimed it toward the opening. 

"_Burt!_" Kylie screamed again, pulling her knife out as well. 

The GH finally noticed the open end of the box and reached an arm toward them. Tyler and Kylie jabbed at it with their knives. 

The creature screamed in pain and defiance, and beat on the crate some more. 

Tyler aimed his gun at the GH's legs, but his shot missed when the creature jumped atop the box. "Dammit!" He growled. "Why the hell doesn't Burt sh--" 

"Shoot him Burt!" Kylie screamed, finishing Tyler's thought. _Shoot him_!" 

"I can't get a shot!" came Burt's shouted reply. 

The creature ducked beside the crate just as Tyler and Kylie heard the unmistakable sound of the stun rifle. 

Then they screamed when the creature gave a mighty heave and shoved the crate across the room. 

When the creature reached their hiding place again, and stood before the opening, jumping up and down angrily, both Tyler and Kylie took aim and fired. 

The darts only seemed to make him angrier, however, and they made use of their knives to hold him at bay until it gave up trying to get them. When both Tyler and Kylie struck simultaneously, it screamed and backed away, then jumped to the top of the crate. 

They could see the wood was starting to give. 

"That won't hold it long," Tyler said. "We're going to have to make a run for it." 

Kylie nodded agreement and they readied themselves. 

Then came the sound of the stun gun again, and the creature screamed. Tyler and Kylie shot out of the crate, took aim, and fired, twice each. 

The GH slowed down for a moment, but its anger seemed to boil off the trank all too soon. Burt took out his own trank pistol and aimed, sure this would take it down, but suddenly, the overhead door motor came to life and the panel began to rise. The creature wasted no time escaping. 

"Did you see that?" Tyler shouted. "The darts didn't do a thing." 

"They made him mad!" Kylie corrected. 

Burt nodded, stowing both the stun gun and the trank gun. "We'll have to use something a bit more lethal, then." He pulled out his Desert Eagle and started for the door. 

"Hell yeah!" Tyler said, as he and Kylie hurried after him. 

They chased the GH outside, past the loading docks and kitchens, then through the maze of lawn chairs by the pool and finally toward the front of the hotel. They got in range a couple of times, but people were in the way, so Burt couldn't fire. 

But just as the creature reached the main entrance - curiously vacant - Burt saw his chance. Quickly, he took aim, and fired. 

The creature still stood, stunned, when the first shot hit, then spun, as the second .50 caliber bullet hit a shoulder. It fell first to it's knees and the three waited, guns at the ready, as it tottered, then finally fell, face-down, into the pavement. 

Burt, Tyler and Kylie hurried forward as two valets rushed out of the hotel. They stood over the body, horrified, but Tyler quickly moved them away. 

Burt stopped and knelt at the body, but Kylie continued on, then stopped abruptly and turned back to Burt, arms crossed, fury written on her face. 

"What is rule number five, Burt? 'Know your target _and_ what is beyond'." She half-turned, pointing to her Range Rover. "_Look_ what you did to my truck." 

Burt glanced toward it, noted the damage, then shook his head. "I had no intention of letting that thing get away again," he said, and turned his attention to the creature, barely hearing her complaints. 

Kylie took in the size of the hole above her front tire, noted the fluid dripping out, then returned to Burt, to stand towering over him. "You did it deliberately! You shot my truck," she accused. "I can't believe you shot my truck!" 

Burt glared up at her. "Well what would you have done?" 

She looked away, guiltily, then back at him. "I would have fired, of course, but I thought you were a little more careful than that." 

Burt shook his head and returned to his examination of the creature. There wasn't much more he needed to know at this point, but since he had a clear view from here up Kylie's miniskirt, the creature was a preferable view. "It's got an exoskeleton," he said. 

Kylie knelt down next to him. "Exoskeleton? Didn't you say this one was a gorilla/chimp thing. How could that make an exoskeleton?" 

"It couldn't." Burt said. "The scientists lied to us." He looked toward her, anger in his eyes. "Could have gotten a lot of people here killed." 

The three-truck convoy pulled into the lab's loading dock and workers there scrambled to unload the three cages they held. While Twitchell and Tyler supervised the operation, Burt headed for the lab's interior. Kylie followed. 

"Where are you going?" she said, catching up to him. 

He glanced down at her, but didn't slow. "I'm going to find out what _else_ was Mixmastered into these creatures," he said grimly. 

"Now, Burt, you don't need--" 

"Are you looking for someone?" A man in a lab coat appeared at a juncture, bringing the two up short. 

"Dr. Kruzil," Burt said. "Just who I was looking for. What else was in those creatures?" 

The doctor's eyes trained on the activity at the end of the hall, then back to Burt. "You caught them then? Excellent!" 

"What else?" Burt demanded. 

"I gave you a report..." 

"Which left out the essential information about an exoskeleton." 

Kylie noted Burt's eyebrow was rising. Not a good sign. 

Dr. Kruzil's eyes widened. "Did that... cause a problem?" 

"You might say that," Burt ground out. 

"Well, there, uh, was a bit of pandinus imperator in the DNA mixture, but it shouldn't--" 

A door further down the intersecting hallway opened, and an older scientist, also in a lab coat, walked out, but checked at the sight of Burt. "What are you doing here?" 

"That's just what _I_ want to know," Burt said, pushing past Dr. Kruzil. "Why didn't you tell us the GH's DNA included scorpion DNA, including an exoskeleton?" 

"That was on a need to know basis," the man said, a flippant tone in his voice. "Your little band of rednecks didn't need to know." 

Burt started toward him with a growl, and Kylie grabbed his arm to stop him. 

To no effect. He simply shrugged her off and kept going. The doctor, she noticed, had disappeared back into whatever room he'd come from. "Burt!" She darted around him to get in his way, but he just swept her aside. "Come on, Burt!" She grabbed him around the waist and started pulling, but he just dragged her along, and eventually managed to dislodge her clinging hands. Finally, she jumped on his back and wrapped her legs around his waist. "You are _not_ going to go in there." 

Finally, he stopped. "Kylie, get off." 

She didn't, but noted he was at least a bit calmer. She looked around at his face, from her perch on his back. "Promise you're not going to kill the guy?" 

"Just get off," he said, his voice under tight control. 

The two glared at each other, their faces an inch apart. 

At that moment, Tyler rounded the corner, then skidded to a stop at the sight. He did a double take, then looked at David. "What the hell?" He turned back to Kylie and Burt. "I can't leave you two alone for one minute..." 

Burt growled. It needed only this. He looked down to realize he had his hands gripped her legs. Legs that were wrapped a little too tightly around his waist. He dropped his hands to his side. "Will you get her off me?" he said to the younger man. 

"Sure!" Tyler said with a smile. He stepped toward them, hands outstretched. 

Kylie glared at him. "Don't even think about it." She unwrapped her legs and dropped off Burt's back. "I think he was gonna kill that guy!" 

"What guy?" Tyler turned to Burt. 

"Dr. Stratten," David supplied. 

Tyler shrugged. "No big loss." 

Later, after some tricky verbal footwork on the part of Tyler and Kylie, they'd managed to drag Burt back to the hotel for a dinner and a couple drinks - all paid for by Gibson Biotechnology. They were enjoying a beer at the bar when Twitchell arrived with a certificate from the convention people. 

"BEST LARP" Kylie read. "What's a 'larp'?" she asked, looking across Burt to Tyler. 

He shrugged. 

They turned to Twitchell, who also shrugged. "Whatever thing that convention guy said you guys were in while you were shooting up the hotel. Some kind of game, I guess." 

Burt, sprawled on one of the barstools with Tyler and Kylie to either side, reached back for his beer. "Hardly a game when it threatens people's lives. Those were some dangerous creatures." 

"Which Burt saved us from," Tyler added. 

"Don't you just _love_ this guy?" Kylie said, and before he could see it coming, she went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. 

Burt's face turned seven shades of red. He tried to pull away from her, but she kept one arm around his shoulders. 

"I think I'm going to kiss you too," Tyler said. He made to lean forward, but Burt avoided him. 

"Don't you dare." 

Tyler laughed. 

"Ha-ha," Kylie taunted in a sing-song voice. "You don't get a kiss!" Kylie stood triumphantly next to Burt, her hand on his shoulder, leaning into him. Then she stuck her tongue out at Tyler. 

Twitchell cleared his throat. "I'm not kissing nobody!" He signaled the bartender to bring him a drink and sat down on Tyler's far side. 

Tyler and Kylie laughed, but Burt just readjusted his hat and looked uncomfortable, secretly enjoying Kylie's attention. 

"Hey!" came a familiar voice from the end of the bar. "I didn't know you guys were here!" Larry Norvel, Perfection's resident sci-fi fanatic, hurried toward them like he'd found long-lost friends. "Now we can hang out. Hey, did you hear there was this cool live action roleplay game earlier today," he babbled in his usual too-eager style. "I was in a _Yu-Gi-Oh_ duel-to-the-death in the roleplay tournament and missed it, but I hear they had cool costumes, chases all over the hotel - fake guns, though - I know you probably wouldn't be impressed, with the real thing and all, but..." 

"Told ya this was Larry's crowd," Tyler said, finishing up his beer while he waited for Larry to wind down. 

He didn't. 

"Time to go," Burt announced, and launched himself away from the bar. 

END


End file.
